Teaser Tuesday

I wasn’t going to tease today, but I really have no idea how people will respond to this scene, and want to find out. I apologize because I won’t get to read the teasers until tonight, but I promise that I will read and comment on all of them eventually.

Guys, this a weird scene that I’m not sure will even make the final draft because, well, it’s strange. But I had so much fun writing it :P Just so you know, this scene is pretty blunt about sexual issues, so if that makes you uncomfortable stop reading now. The context is that Chase is paralyzed; thus, he can’t get boners. Terri (Chase’s best friend/Callie’s frienemy) told Callie this. Callie and Chase were fooling around, and Callie was very aware that Chase never got a boner. This teaser is her doing her best to address her concerns with Chase.

I feel like this is right on the thin line between stupid and funny, so I want to know what side it's leaning towards. In other words, be honest, and tell me if you think it's stupid. Thanks!

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And I wonder if he’s turned on by me, if the boner story was a cover-up for the fact that Chase likes me a lot more than his dick does. I want to ask him, but what do I say? Hey Chase, I was just wondering why you don’t have a boner?

There’s probably a better way to go about it, like a Sex Ed. answer—the truth wrapped in a weird analogy so students know what’s up and so parents don’t sue the school for educating their kids about something that will actually affect them.

“Bananas,” I say.

Chase is already red. Most kids picked up on the whole hey-bananas-look-like-dicks thing before Sex Ed., but it became bad when we all had to try and put a condom on one in class, and the guys who couldn’t realized they’d never get laid by anyone at our school.

“Think of a banana,” I continue. “That’s just like chilling there, limp and mushy.”

Chase looks down.

“And then he sees this apple, who is really juicy. You know, she’s a good apple. When the banana sees her, he perks right up and hardens.”

To illustrate this, I pretty much mime what happens when someone gets a boner. Chase looks at me like Mike did when he couldn’t get the condom on his banana. This might not have been the best idea.

“Anyway, that banana continues on his way, and a different mushy banana meets the same apple. This banana agrees that she’s a good apple, but he doesn’t perk up and harden like the first banana did.”

I’m too far gone to stop now.

“The apple wonders why the banana didn’t ripen like the other one did—”

“Calliepleasestop.”

“Like, was it because the banana didn’t like her enough to ripen for her, or because the banana had already rotted?”

We’re quiet for a really, really long time.

A really long time.

“Terri told you?” Chase asks.

“That you can’t get boners? Yeah.”