The Crazy Story in Your Heart

Oh friends, it's been awhile. It's not the first time I've disappeared from the blogosphere, and it won't be the last, but that's the fun of being a student. You have a couple calm weeks, then suddenly you're up until two in the morning and eating cookies for every meal breakfast and blasting the Backstreet Boys because it's the only way you'll get through and forgetting punctuation--

It's a lot. But I'm done in six days (!), and now that I have a self-declared afternoon off, I want to check in with all of you wonderful people.

It won't surprise you to learn that I haven't written more than the odd scene here or there. Those odd scenes, however, aren't from my WIP. They're from what I've temporarily titled the Crazy Story in My Heat (bestseller, right?)

The story is absolutely crazy and there's no way it could exist as a novel without some serious editing (I'd have to take out the pregnancy and show-stopping number and probably age the characters ten years..seriously.) And when I daydream about it or even write it instead of my novel (which is like 5% more sensible, to be honest), I feel guilty about wasting my time. 

Which is silly, because it's fun, and writers are allowed to have fun. When I'm in writing-mode again, my focus will be my novel, but when I need a break? Of course I'm going to turn to the crazy story. 

Sometimes we forget that writing is supposed to be fun. Sometimes we forget that life is supposed to be fun. Don't be afraid to remind yourself.

7 Tips for Making and Reaching Writing Goals

It's the most wonderful time of the year, when writers everywhere close their doors, substitute well-balanced meals for leftover Halloween candy, and use sticky-notes as pillows.

It's NaNoWriMo, a month where writers try to complete 50,000 words of a novel within the month of November. I know many people who have written novels thanks to NaNoWriMo, and many others whom have planned and plotted for it, only to write 5,000 words or so for it (I was one of those people for three years.) Others have no interest in participating it.

And all of that is absolutely fine.

Not to shock anyone, but everyone's different. For some people, the goal of writing 50k in November is reasonable and desirable, and for others, it's not. I fall into the latter category, and have felt guilty about it. What we need to realize, however, is that writing 50k in November is a rather arbitrary goal.* What's helpful, then, is to set goals that work for you, ones which fit with your priorities, schedule, long-term goals, etc. 

So, how would you go about creating those goals?

1. Get Rid of Guilt. Your friend wrote a first draft in a week, and yours has taken you three months. If you didn't know about your friend's success and are happy with your progress, there is no reason to view yourself  as an inadequate. Set goals, do your best to reach them, and forget about what your friends are doing/have done (or, better yet, cheer them on!) Also, as a writing community? We need to stop making people feel guilty about their goals. If you can write a novel in a year and someone else needs two, and is happy with that, please don't make them think they need to alter their goals. We're all different and we should all support each other.

2. Don't Underestimate Yourself. Get rid of guilt, yes, but challenge yourself. You are awesome, so be awesome. Set goals which are reasonable, but ones which will push you. You may surprise yourself.

3. Don't Overestimate Yourself. As a student and a writer, sometimes I feel guilty for making an effort to always get seven or eight hours of sleep, because it seems like no one around me does. But, I know myself, and know that I need sleep to function well, and that I'm not pleasant to be around when I don't get it. Whatever sleep represents for you, don't feel like you have to give it up to reach an extraordinary goal. Chances are that you'll burn out, get discouraged, etc. Make sure that you give yourself time to rest as you work towards your goals.

4. Make Goals According to Your Priorities. At this point in my life, writing is not my priority. God, my family, friends, school, and the student society I'm part of all come before it. Some of that will change, and some of it won't. If something comes before writing for you, don't be afraid to put it before writing, even if it means you'll fall short of your goal. This leads into:

5. Have Grace with Yourself. There will probably be a time where you don't reach your goal, and that's ok. Life happens and not always in the ways we expect it too, and there's always a chance that it'll interfere with our goals. Let it, and don't feel guilty about it. The world will go on, you'll get things back on track, and you'll be fine. Promise.

6. Alter Your Goals if Necessary. Again, your life will change, your priorities will change, and maybe not when you expect them too. Don't feel like you need to stick to goals which are no longer possible or desirable.

7. Reward Yourself. Because you're awesome and deserve it.

Note that with all of these points, I'm assuming that you make goals based on deadlines (if you have them), and am not suggesting that you should ignore them.

Good luck to everyone participating in NaNo, and to everyone else with different goals!

*I don't mean to discredit NaNo in any wya, as I think it's an awesome program and a great goal for some people to try for. 

Betraying Your Ten-Year-Old Self

I've always wanted to be a teacher.

I was always the teacher when I played school with my cousins, it, all of my jobs and most of my volunteer work has involved some form of teaching or mentoring, and I would daydream about my lesson plans.

I'm in my third year of university, at the point where I have to plan for my Bachelor of Education, or for grad school, or for anything else that will shape my future. And, I'm not sure I want to be a teacher anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I still love teaching, and it's still an option, but now it's one of many options; it's no longer the plan. The hardest part of this is the feeling that I'm betraying my ten-year-old self. I always wanted to be a teacher, but always just ended.

You know what else I wanted when I was ten? For my first published books to be a series entitled The Tank Top Girls, all about three girls in a band who wore tank tops and occasionally dated the Backstreet Boys, and for all of this to happen when I was sixteen, eighteen at the latest.

It won't surprise you, or even me, to learn that didn't happen, and now I'm a twenty-year-old unpublished writer working on her second novel, who never finished the million book project that was The Tank Top Girls.

But, there are tons of aspects of the last ten years of my life that have surprised my, like my friends, faith, jobs, passions, school, and all the awesome, little surprises that come in-between.

The point is that everything changes, you never know where life will take you, yada yada yada. And, through that, your goals may change. And that's ok.

To be clear, this is not me telling you to give up on your dreams, or that it's bad to make goals. What I do want to say is not to get caught up in what could've or should've been, and instead in what could be. It's ok if your writing hasn't gone the way you planned, because maybe you're on your way to something better.

My ten-year-old self thought I'd be a published writer by now, working towards a Bachelor of Education. It would surprise her to know that I'm not, and actually in the I don't know what to do with my life stage that she was so sure she'd skip.

But, I'm still writing, I'm still doing what I love, and I think she'd be ok with that.

THIS IS AN EXCITING TITLE

Despite how much I've neglected my blog lately, the lovely Taryn at Hope Junkie gave me a blog award! I appreciate it so much, especially since when she gave it to me, it motivated me to update my blog for the first time in weeks. So, thanks Taryn! And if you're not following her, click here, click on follow, and your life will become more awesome. 

Now, I am supposed to tell all of you seven random things about myself that you may think you never needed nor wanted to know, but trust me, you want to know. It'll give you so many things to make fun of me for.

1. I never use bookmarks.
2. I can't look at pencils, pens, erasers, crayons, markers, etc. when I eat. It really grosses me out? This was a problem when I worked at a daycare, and is quite inconvienent as a writer.
3. Thus far, in every novel-length story that I can't actually call novels I've written (as well as in my novels), after the main couple has their last break up (which either means they live happily ever after once they make up or...they don't), they spend the night together in an innocent, let's-not-have-sex-but-appreciate-each-other way. I did not realize this until a friend was like, "Hey, this scene is like that one in the other story...and the one in the other story." And so on. This did not stop me from doing it again.
4. I love reading acknowledgements so much that I consider it to be a reward for finishing a book.
5. I never used to use the ;) emoticon. I always thought :P was more appropriate and endearing. Now, I probably use ;) more, and feel more mature for it (but I still have a soft spot for :P.)
6. I'm infatuated with country music and its culture. The boys I've had the strongest feelings for have been from the boonies, and have driven pick-up trucks. Any wonder I relate to Taylor Swift songs so well?
7. I LOVE CAPS LOCK. I USED TO LOVE IT IN AN ~IRONIC~ WAY, BUT NOW I THINK IT MAKES EVERYTHING SO MUCH MORE EXCITING.

And now, to give the award to some more stylish bloggers! Again, if you follow this people, your life will become more awesome. Promise.
Caitlin Darrell at A (Sort-of) Life
Debra Driza at houndrat.com
Kathleen Peacock at Tales of a Writing Geek
Erin Jade at write me
Karla Nellenbach at The Last Word

Have a great day, everyone!

2010 Overview and a Thank You

I hate New Year's Eve.

It's just so much pressure. You need to go to the best party, have the perfect midnight kiss, and make resolutions for the new year.

Also, I really hate fireworks.

Last year, I was home alone on New Year's Eve. I watched Bring It On and danced around my basement to Ke$ha's TiK ToK. I made one resoultion: I was going to have fun in 2010.

I kept it. 2010 was one of the best years of my life.

The last half of 2009 was terrible. I hated my first semester of university, and you're not supposed to hate your first semester of university. You're supposed to make the best friends you'll ever make and have the most fun you'll ever have and live the best years you'll ever live. That didn't happen to me. I don't have a problem with people drinking, but everyone seemed to have a problem with the fact that I don't drink. I I hated living in residence, and my only friends on my floor were friends I'd had since high school. I did well academically, but, that was because I obsessed over my schoolwork to the point where I had no life outside of it. I didn't write. I didn't dance. I didn't spend time with God like I needed to. I didn't make plans with my friends. I worked and watched everyone around me have the time of their lives.

Guess it's no surprise that I was miserable, eh?

I knew that something needed to change in 2010. As mentioned, I made the resolution to have more fun, but I didn't really know what that meant. When 2010 came around, I didn't change overnight. There was no epiphany where I realized, "If I do x, y, and z, I'll be happy." Little things just started to change around and in me, and it led to happiness. I was still a perfectionist when it came to my schoolwork second semester (honestly, I still am one now), but it wasn't as bad as it was first semester. Funny thing is, I did better second semester than I did first semester. I started to make friends at school and I became particularly close to my school's Christian Fellowship. I danced and spent more time with God. Things weren't perfect at the beginning of 2010, especially since I was dealing with a particularly nasty illness, but things were better.

Then May came around, I had four months of summer vacation, and I decided to write again. Up until I graduated high school, I was a fanfiction writer. I loved it, and don't regret a second of it. But, even though I'd tried to write a novel a couple times before with no success, I made a promise to myself that I'd stop writing fanfiction by the time I graduated high school, and focus on writing a novel instead. I kept the first half of that promise, but as I said, I didn't write during my first year of university. I didn't even write the summer between high school and university. I don't know what my motivation was to start writing again in May, to be honest. I just knew that I needed to.

I wrote fanfiction on small a message board opposed to posting it somewhere like fanfiction.net, so there was a real sense of community there, and that was my favourite thing about it. I was scared to write without a community supporting me, like I thought I'd have to do if I wrote a novel.

Then I started this blog, and realized I had nothing to be afraid of.

I'm not sure we always realize how rare and wonderful it is to have a group of people, most of whom have never met, who support each other like the YA community does, especially since we all more or less have the same goals. I didn't think anyone would read my first post, but all of you were quick to welcome me into this family, and there are no words for how much I appreciate it. Honestly, I'm getting emotional writing this because you guys have done so much for me, and I'm just overwhelmed by it. Every comment means the world to me. Every post you write on your own blogs has helped me to become a better writer.

There are two moments I can point to in 2010 and go, "This is when I became happy again." One is when I joined the leadership team for my school's Christian Fellowship and found my university family. The other is when I started this blog and found my online family.

I needed to write again. Thank you for helping me write. Thank you for helping me become happy again again. Thank you for everything.

I had so much fun in 2010.

I currently do not have plans for New Year's Eve. I have two Bring it On movies saved on my DVR and Ke$ha's We R Who We R on my playlist. I'm making one resolution: I'm going to have even more fun in 2011.

My First Award!

On the Playlist: Songs in My Pocket - Bethany Joy Galeotti

I honestly never thought I’d get a blog award because 1. I’m boring 2. It’s a writing blog, and I talk about dance half the time 3. I make typos like they’re going out of style (no, I’m not sure when they were in style) and 4. I don’t own a collection of black Santas. TEN THOUSAND AWESOME POINTS IF YOU CAN GUESS WHAT BOOK I’M READING. Yep.

But today, I came online to discover that I’d received this award:

from Caitlin Darrell, Karla Nellenbach, Ellen, and LizPage who are all fabulous people that you should follow rightnow. Really guys, I’m pretty new to the YA community, and it means a lot to receive this, so thank you. You, and everyone else in the YA community, have like a bazillion awesome points for being so kind and helpful.

So, here’s the deal with this award. There are four things you need to if you receive one, which are:
1.Thank and link back to the person who gave you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself:
3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic for whatever reason! (In no particular order...)
4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award

Here are seven things about me:
1. I’d rather read a novel in paperback than hardcover.
2. I’m addicted to internet radio.
3. I’m a television junkie. And, truthfully, I’m a soap opera junkie. Not daytime soaps (with the exception of As The World Turns, which I was obsessed with for about a year), but shows with soap-like storylines. Yes, I am one of the people who still watches One Tree Hill, even though they did four stalker storylines within four seasons. Oy with the poodles already (a million awesome points of you get that reference).
4. God means everything to me.
5. I live off of Diet Coke.
6. I’m a huge nerd who honestly enjoys being in class and learning. My favourite part of university is not the social aspect, but the academic one. Yep. Proud nerd.
7. I want to teach as much as I want to write.

Now, FIFTEEN AMAZNG BLOGS. GO FOLLOW THEM.
1. LizPage at Liz Page: Just Keep Writing
2. Karen Yuan at karen yuan!
3. Karla Calalang at Creative Blossoms
4. Nomes at inkcrush
5. Kara at Moomurs
6. Karla Nellenbach at KarlaNellenbach: The Last Word…
7. Caitlin Darrell at Caitlin Darrell: A (Sort-of) Life
8. Debra at houndrat
9. Bee at DREAMCATCHER'S LAIR
10. Vee at Ramblings of a Writer
11. Raven at Love Letters to Forever
12. Ellen at Word Thief
13. Glen Akin at Say it isn't so
14. bclemet412 at Abyss
15. Veronica Roth at The Artist Formerly Known as V.Roth